romania, strike 2 - day 1

this time i booked my tickets to arrive in constanta on sunday afternoon. i used blue air this time and i noticed the difference. this airline was so much more organised than wizz air. it was an amazing scenery seeing the world from the sky in daylight. i wasn't as tired as i was last time i took the flight. i had to conserve my energy, i had organised everything, i knew what to expect this time. i was mentally prepared, i felt like i can do this. i had to be strong, i burried the doubts, the sadness, the strong bonds i had with england getting torn at every step i made into this new land, i had to be strong. medicine is my future and thats what i am here to focus on. i need to realise my wish for i am so close to getting on the right track for my life, for the future that i've been shadowing, for the future that i longed for, for the future that i deserve. i had to be strong.
i had packed all my winter clothes, i had made sure i was prepared for the worst. on top of it all, i had to be vigilant, i had to be on my guard at all time. i got to bucharest baneasa airport and i knew exactly which bus i needed. i crossed the road, got to the bus stop and waited for bus number 780, the bus which would take me straight to gare de nord, the international train station within bucharest. but this time i had another twist, to avoid the horrible trains i had researched coaches and found them to be much cheaper, more comfortable and had a direct route with less stops to constanta. i asked a few locals for directs, i just needed to know where i was before i could follow my google map to the coaches. i used gsm trans, which costed merely 50 lei for 4/5 star type of coach compared to the trains which weren't even first class costed 89 lei. from the first time i reached the coaches i knew this was so much better. there was hardly any engine noise, there were no distractions, no horrible wiffs of stench, the whole journey there were no kids screaming, or romanians over-crowding the area with their music, excessively loud laughs, or even the creepers that can't seem to keep to their seats.
i reached constanta at 9.30pm it was a 3 hour journey - but was far more comfortable than anything so far. i was pleased. the coach took us to the constanta train station conveniently, and as i was about to make my way through public buses to the apartment, the landlord offered to pick me up. this was a god send. alhamdu'allah i was blessed with a wonderful landlord that did not treat me like a tourist, but as an individual who was just making their way in life. perhaps it was my honesty that made him open up to me, or perhaps the fact that i didn't have anyone here in romania, i don't really know.. regardless, he was polite, treated me with respect and always advised me on the ways of living here in constanta. these are the kind of people i was searching for to be friends with. honest people like that, who weren't going to take advantage of you in a completely new world.
the area i stayed at was tomis, a modern and fresh area of constanta with many new buildings getting built. on top of it all, the place had central heating unlike the majority of constanta. when i reached the apartment, the number one thing on my mind was to call home and tell everyone that i have reached constanta safely. alhamdu'allah. i connected the broadband, which to the apartment was 16mb broadband, not bad for romania i thought to myself. after i had a cheese sandwich i fell asleep. the landlord had agreed to show me how to get to the university the following day.

the day before the day

nerves are really kicking in. i got the letter from the ministry of education last tuesday, i've quit my job so yesterday was my last day, and now i am free. no strings attached, no net to save me if i fall. i've got so much to do today its just crazy! i've got so little time to get things done i'm so stressed i couldn't sleep properly. checklist!
luggage
hand in resignation letter and locker key


what to include in luggage:
lab coat

romania - day 5 tuesday

today we took the first train in constanta back to bucharest. unlike our experience with the 1961 train from bucharest to constanta, this train was surprisingly modern! this train was of course called r or rapid. theres a difference in the ticket price for this one obviously as its more expensive. if you've pre-booked your tickets or have an open return ticket, then you're in trouble if you change between trains a and r. you'll need to cough up an extra 40 lei to change your tickets and obtain seats. they are very strict about seating in every train we took so thats another thing to worry about. despite having numbers labelled above seats... finding the right carriage is a problem - so its really best to ask people - i do mean ask, so not just one person.. make sure you know where you're going as some people see foreigners and think that answering 'da' is for everything. :/
the train times is almost the same, but there is significantly less noise and you don't feel like you're squashed with the unfortunate. these trains are more spacious and tickets range between first and second class just like normal trains here in the UK. standards are almost the same too - but do bear in mind that people smoke. even though you're not supposed to smoke on the train there is a tendency to find the odd person having a small wiff. its either that or you're unfortunate to be in a carriage with a heavy smoker(s) that literally lives in smoke. remember, the majority of these people are going to bucharest, smoke central. you've been warned.
with all our luggage (because we're hardcore like that) we took the metro to piata romania and then headed to the ministry of education.
our first order of things to do was to get this 'ready' letter. we went to the second building the ministry had initially referred us to, number 12 (theres no number on the door). we asked for the guy we had spoke to at the posh cafe/restaurant and after wrestling with the security guard, a different lady who spoke absolutely no english we managed to get hold of him. by that time it was 12.10pm. the time for general enquiries at the ministry ranges between 10.00 and 12pm - so this dude was doing over-time. nevertheless i whipped out my phone and started recording. i wasn't taking any chances at him bribing us. to my surprise... he had the letter in the folder he was carrying around. i signed a photocopy version of this letter and i took the original. he had said this was all that i needed to apply to constanta, wished us best of luck, shook hands and off we went. no bribes, no extra tipping, no cash prize. dad felt he had to give the man something, but my logical arrogance convinced him otherwise. i had already attached a postal order cheque along with my documents when i initially sent my application by post, and so we had paid the ministry the handling fee.
dad began to smile. i didn't. he told me, its almost done, you're so close! i honestly did not share his enthusiasm. there was much to be done and after i met that secretary my hopes haven't been so high. in fact i still could not believe that i am indeed this close yet. not yet - not until my name is registered on the medical course, not until i start attending lectures.. i don't think its anywhere close to being done.
the letter was of course in romanian, but some words were french/english-derived which made it possible to get the gist of the letter. it was basically just allowing me to apply to universities in romania for the 2011/12 year. only my secondary education certificates were mentioned and that made me worry. this letter isn't an acceptance letter and i fear for the worst of whats yet to come. i expressed these views to dad as we had lunch at piata romania's burger king restaurant. both his and my expression really changed after this - we both had the look of death in our eyes, theres more things to come. its not over yet.
we opened a bank account with alpha bank and got a sim from vodaphone while waiting for my birth certificate to be translated to romanian. we could not bring ourselves to go shopping anywhere, as we were dragging luggage, and we still need to make our way to the airport for tonight's flight back to the uk.
with little left to do here, we decided to take bus 131 to the airport.

romania - day 4 constanta

today, 6.15am we took the train at gara du nord, bucharest, and went to constanta. when i say train please bear in mind that i am really referring to a 1969 train model of a train in all its glorious downfalls. this is the train thats referred to as A or .....

train at bucharest, gara du nord est. 1969, still used today.

there was seats for eight people - considering that everyone smokes in bucharest, and how each eight-seat area is isolated with an interior door separating each compartment... well.. if you had tickets in the same compartment as a stinker, well you're screwed. thankfully we didn't have any smokers in our compartment but it was full to the brim. our legs clashed, it was impossible to sleep/sit comfortably. 

3.30 hours later we arrived in bucharest. after asking around for directions we were off to ovidius university. problem: we arrived to the wrong campus and had to take directions from a stressed out secretary (who kept insisting on having the reception door closed). that campus was so weird, there was no students in sight, and all doors were closed and unlabelled. it was like a neat wooden prison... i really can't think of another more obvious way to describe it.

we got to ovidus constanta at 11.00 with all our luggage. we didn't realise, we just stepped into hell. there were queues everywhere. people in my position were queuing outside secretary offices both foreign and romanian. i honestly did not expect something like this. no way in hell was i expecting so many students waiting outside a secretary office. nevertheless, we had to see someone, so we joined the queue. i was in no mood to speak to anyone. we only had one water bottle and in addition to how tired we were from travelling early in the morning, frustration soon kicked in. all of the people standing there were pushing, shoving, cutting in the line, and simply being assholes. there was a wide array of people from all kinds of backgrounds, and may were arabic speaking, taiwanese, and even from america and canada. 2 hours later i told dad since we're not getting to see this secretary any time soon we should probably call the dude at the ministry - or at least the girl that could barely speak and see the situation with my application. we called the guy and left him a message on his voice mail. i also sent a text for him just in case he was in a meeting/ busy to listen to voice mail.
after waiting for 4 hours i snapped. i couldn't bear waiting in that queue any longer. medicine was simply not enough to make me wait this long. i had pain in my lower back, my feet were swollen and blistered from the walking in bucharest and i was so so tired from the early travel. i forgot to mention, the previous night, i couldn't sleep - i was so anxious, i was so nervous, i couldn't switch my brain off. at most, i had only 2 hours of sleep the previous night. not only that, the lack of food really really pulled my stamina down. i was in no shape of waiting here. the queue itself was not declining. i was in the same place that i had stood, when i first came and queued. this was beyond ridiculous, this was inhumane. medicine at constanta is not worth this wait. i snatched the phone from dad and called the guy at the ministry. i was in rage, i wanted to know where i stood for up till now i have not only been lost in translation, but also dishearted at the amount of bribery, the inconsiderable time wasting and the awful anxiety that was reaching close to boiling point. he answered the phone. i asked about the state of my application. he simply replied, its ready. everything is complete. that confused me, what does 'ready' mean? have the letter of acceptance been issued already? has it been to the ministry? have they authorised my application? why haven't i been informed about the state of my application beforehand? if its been ready, then what are we doing here in the queue? right now i wanted any reason to leave the queue. i turned to my dad and told him, we should have stayed in bucharest. we should have collected this letter from the ministry before making our way here. we made a mistake - perhaps i was a little harsh, but i have really really had enough; i was looking for any excuse to leave this queue. dad simply replied, since everyone spoke of bribery, what makes you think that you're going to simply get this letter? surely there is a price to pay. surely this guy is going to want something in return. like i've said before, i didn't trust the guy at the ministry. the moment we spoke, i could not bear to trust anything that comes out of his mouth. there was this distinct distaste in the words he used, the body language, everything. nevertheless, now that we knew we needed to collect this letter from the ministry we abandoned our post in the queue and headed outside to find the apartment we booked online. we were both tired, hungry and dehydrated.
i swear i could not have done this without dad. hes been the rock, the role model, my guardian throughout this journey and there really isn't enough to say about how appreciative i am of what he has done, what he has made to make my desire to study medicine a possibility. i felt like i was so close to realising my dream, i felt like i was so close to making my dad proud.
we left ovidius and since my google map had said that our apartment is just 15mins walk from the university, we set out on foot, to find this place. we reached an area of hotels that were closed during the no-season period. we asked them for directions and they have said that oooh no, we had to catch a bus to reach our destination. me and dad looked at each other. he told me, lets go back to the university. this is what we are here for, and so this is where we should be. perhaps we can find out more about my application. i agreed, and so we set out back to the university. still, we had no food, still dehydrated, but walking seemed to give me more energy, i felt like i could stand in the queue. i felt like i could wait.
when we returned, the queue had not decreased. instead, there were people cutting across the sides, and there, the secretary demanding a civilised queue of a single line, one standing after another. however, that just made the people there even more anxious, and pissed off. there was disorder everywhere. people were not listening. the arabs were making sleigh remarks at the woman, while the english speaking were giving the secretary hand gestures behind her back. everyone was pushing in, the queue looked similar to the red coloured box illustration below.

blue = civilised queue; red = uncivilised, how things were outside the foreign secretary office at ovidius constanta

i felt the frustration, these people were coming everyday, queueing up to see this woman - who i have to say is very well dressed and groomed. it makes me think - with all the money pouring in from students, why couldn't the university hire someone else to help her out? maybe arrange for better queues, resolve current problems with limited hours (the office hours for foreign students to see the secretary was between 12 and 2pm). perhaps if she had answered emails this queue would not be this large. perhaps if regular updates were issued at the huge notice board outside her office, there wouldn't be so many people waiting outside her office everyday. aghh it makes me angry even thinking about the lack of things getting done there to sort out the queues!!
after half an hour, dad said hes had enough. a man of his age should not be standing, queueing like this. you can see the anger in his tired eyes. he hasn't had any sleep either. his worries for me were deeply engraved in the lines on his face. i could not bear it, but i had to stay strong for both our sakes. if at least one of us maintained solidarity, then the other would benefit from the strength of such will power. at around 3.30pm i reached a state of trance. quite honestly i was a zombie, and with no mental capacity to hold back my rage at this woman (the secretary). if she leaves her office another time to head to the toilet i would jump her. i would knock her to the floor and start punching her face so hard that i wouldn't care. the queue was slowly dispersing, but not fast enough to calm me. i've experienced nothing like this in england. i was not accustomed to such disgrace and quite frankly, i could not tolerate it. i felt like i was queueing with animals. this isn't my place. this isn't what i wanted. if i knew that it was so hard to even get my application moving here, i would have worked harder to get into med school in england. even if that chance would be so much slimmer there. i would burn my eyes out and tattoo knowledge into my brain so i wouldn't have to queue like this ever again.
to say the least, when it reached 4pm we left again to find the apartment. we took the bus downtown to mamias and were counting houses as we went. we arrive at the destination, 15mins bus ride from the university and i wasn't happy. we chose the apartment specifically because it was close walking distance from the university. nevertheless, we got there. knocked on the door, and some dude working at a print shop pulls us inside. his friend would come collect us and take us to the apartment. i looked at dad and screamed NO WAY! i've had enough of people pushing me around all this trip. i just want a place close to the university so i can go and deal with that bitch, rest and stick to the original plans! no way was i getting dragged around a town that has been confusing enough to navigate through all the weird road names and the ever so complicated bus routes. the land lord came 5 mins later and i simply could not bear to go around again. i asked the guy to take us to a nearby hotel, near the university. i wouldn't care how much it costed. i just wanted to drop the weight, the baggage both me and dad were carrying and head over back to the university. after ass kissing this guy as he offered to take us to the hotel, we checked into a hotel. i took both my baggage and my dad's. emptied it in the room, refilled the water, took out some sweets and washed my face, i bolted downstairs where dad was waiting at reception. neither of us needed the toilet due to the state of dehydration both me and dad had. it was close to 5pm when we reached the university. the queues were completely gone now. only some students were waiting there and we saw the secretary head into the romanian secretary office. we waited outside. as someone left that office dad took the opportunity to head inside. i know it was rude, and surely he thought so too, but really we needed to speak to someone. the foreign secretary escorts us outside this office and we speak outside. she informs us that she had been 'looking' for us in four occassions!! i almost laughed in her face - actually if i didn't have my dignity i would have spit-laughed in her face. she did not deserve the role she had, for she was a terrible host. she was the most arrogant bitch i've ever encountered. maybe because of the amount of students she has to deal with, or maybe thats why she had been picked to do the job. regardless, she was awful. she demanded respect where she had given none, and so she does not deserve. waving her hand around, she simply muttered: if the application is ready at the ministry then let your dad return to the uk, and i shall see you in 2 days time where you will have the letter from bucharest and a translated (into romanian) birth certificate. she quickly slithered back into the office not letting me finish - these idiots have not answered me fully. i didn't get a straight answer from anyone. how far off is my application? what the hell does 'ready' mean?!
nothing was definite. dad felt relieved that he had the chance to speak to this woman. i wasn't even slightly relieved. nothing ever goes my way. my low expectations have declined even further ever since i got here. i have no more hope of getting a place here. i was very suspicious of the guy at the ministry of education, and the way this secretary spoke to me did not add up. there was more to this thing, there has to be. my guts are never wrong on such terms.
for the rest of the day we got back to the hotel, spent about an hour at the room to just rest, then headed out for food. i didn't feel like eating anything, but i had to get something. we took bus number 100 to the city mall. it was impressively large. the mall there closes at 10pm unlike the usual closure hours in the uk at 5.30pm.

lost for words

its not that i haven't been blogging, its just that i haven't been publishing. i'm sitting on about 6 draft posts which i can't bring myself to publish. they are just not meant for anyone else but me to see. so what happened?
plans are on hold because of a certain waiting list and my little sister had a car accident on monday. its been overwhelming for me as not only did i have to deal with idiots abusing power where i've been, but also to worry about my little sister. she had an operation yesterday to reposition her leg. both bones in her right leg are broken. you simply cannot imagine the state of chaos the whole family has been in, and surely, i am really lost for words. theres no words that could be enough to describe our state of despair.