fashion haul - you knew it was coming

i've got so much on my mind, but you know what, i'm not going to talk about it. this is what i bought today:

Blowfish Dark Brown Boots, rpp £50.00 bought for £16.00

amazing boots are amazing! for so long i've wanted a pair of blowfish boots, they just look so different, simple and something out of an assassin's creed game! the colour of these boots is just right and has a lovely texture to it - i just couldn't resist. mum of course did not approve. she thought it wasn't up to her standards, to me, well.. i need new brown boots as my previous pair lasted for 6 years!!! and the faux leather was cracking, the bottom of the shoe print was obliterated and the smell was crying out "throw me away!". i have a feeling though, i may need to double the socks for a while as the subcutaneous calcaneal bursa of my feet are going to hurt. not that the boots are uncomfortable - on the contrary they are an amazing fit, but in long distance walking, the friction would bring out the evilness in any shoe, and these boots are no exception.

another thing i bought today was this:

Bench Bradie black jacket with hood, rpp £75.00 bought for £20.00 

this jacket is comfy and warm and has a hood too! i honestly thought this was a bargain because quality of this baby - is unmatched! one issue with this one though is that.. it attracts those loose hairs from scarves and wool - but other than that.. this was an amazing find. initially this was picked for my mum, but somehow i ended up trying & buying it for myself! nevermind..

and breathe..

its 3.41am as i'm writing this, i have a specsavers appointment for some trial contacts in the morning at 10, i seriously need a wash and so i need to wake up as early as 8am in order to be ready for that appointment. i'm not happy, in fact i'm freaking out. i've read some blog posts about people who have "successfully" acheived what i'm trying to do and i'm freaking out. how on earth did these people have the time to fulful their life-long wish and ambition? baby steps can't even describe the sheer motivation and drive behind these people. with that said, i'm freaking out. its november and i need some responses to my huge number of emails!!! aaahh! i need to get the ball rolling i'm so scared!
the house was turned upside down and is drowning in clothes because dad decided "oh screw this i'm not gonna sort through the 10-year-old wardrobes, i'll just dump them everywhere" and obviously, its all over the stairs, the couch, sofa bed, and even in the bathroom. i'm talking about clothes that have been neglected for a period of as far as 10 years. aghh it hurts me to talk about my parents like this but i think with age, cranky-ness and impatience tends to grow. theres no order, which makes me even more motivated to gtfo asap. i'm a terrible daughter... THE WHOLE HOUSE IS A MESS!
back to my other problem, i really really really need replies. after what i've read, and seen this weekend... i need a response dammit!

Newton's second law (motion)

Any mass that is gained or lost by the system will cause a change in momentum that is not the result of an external force.

question: how do you know when enough is enough? does having a bigger perspective of this world and the situation you're in guide you to a wiser decision? or would all this information become too much, rendering you unable to really partake in the process to either cease or continue in an unaltered manner?
when you see a man abusing a woman, how do you know how to react? you're not scared, you're not in any position that could get you injured in the process, so why not just do it, and stop the abuse?
yesterday i had a similar encounter and i couldn't help but notice how quickly i found myself losing interest in the situation. i could have prevented something from occurring but instead i let it take its course. does that make me a bad person? does that make me responsible for what happened? by doing nothing, was i doing something? if i wasn't doing anything then why do i feel guilt? agh trial and error next time i'll be wiser to do otherwise. :/

zombies nomnom's my leif ;_;

i've been going crazy over zombies in the past few days i've had no sleep and its getting to the point where its ridiculous. how did this happen? i have a family that i've neglected, i've got chores to do and places to go aaah its frustrating how i just lose myself in a zombies game. with that said, i am not getting modern warfare 3 regardless of how awesome it looks. i'm better than this! oh and i got to level 35 on five with just 1 other player. i rawk at this game now its time to retire.
eid mubarak by the way.

crazy coincidence

i'm not a believer in coincidence, or that things happen for a reason. but, when things do happen out of the blue i sometimes doubt myself. like when all odds are against me, and this one little thing that just comes its way, and for a brief second you feel like you belong, like something went right, like you've found what you're looking for.. well.. i treasure those moments, and sigh later thinking about them! part of me thinks no no.. too good to be true, and the other part just wants to launch in full throttle and nab that little thing and squeeze it so hard that no one else can get their hands on it. so many times have i just looked at my situation and thought, ok never mind this lets try something else. but always... this little thing... it always lands at the right time. perfectly. somehow.. it makes sense. it can't be coincidence, that's just crazy... right?

displacement where grounds were warm

because hope just takes a bite out of your heart making it black like this feather

i'm in a funny mood today - i think i woke up on the wrong side of the bed or something.. i had an appointment this morning at the job centre to try to figure out where to look for jobs etc. problem is, the person i spoke to, honestly didn't have a clue about what i wanted.. maybe i'm not clear about what i want - meh i just wanted to do masters. i don't like being confused, i don't like the fact that i don't actually know anyone who has been in my position.... even good old google with all the answers doesn't seem to have an answer to my questions. google labs should make a thing that could tell you more about yourself.. or what jobs you can apply for.

however despite this whining and self pitty - at least i took a step today, at least i made an effort to search and thats more than i can recall doing when i was with sainsburys.. i guess i just needed to lose something in order to get something else.... or it just proves that i was waaay too comfy in my job and all the people i knew. dania start aiming high and stop shooting yourself in the foot, woman!
i've been decluttering my room - that right now, if i open my wardrobe, i can sigh with relief! its not all clogged up with clothes i'm not going to wear, instead, everything is neat. i only have what i need, and thats how i like it. i can actually see some space there, and thats an achievement! i feel better - the thing is, the whole house needs to feel like my wardrobe, at the moment its one big storage bin. everything just seems to get in, and no relief is returned to the house. baby steps.