Ramadan day 6

5 things that went well today 

1. spent quality time with family
2. prayed 5 times
3. listened & read Qur'an
4. no urge to play lol
5. i felt at peace with myself despite current difficult time

 5 things that you are thankful for 

1. positive attitude, learning from the past
2. physically energised to spend time with mum in town
3. loving parents
4. ability to afford simple pleasures
5. inquisition & empathy to Qur'an

 2 things that you would like to improve

1. reduce the reluctance to do things
2. reduce portion size during the Iftar and Suhoor

Ramadan day 5

5 things that went well today 

1. replied to job offer
2. questioned many things about islam and found sound answers, e.g. purpose & origin of the kaaba, importance of suhoor and iftar
3. began making an inspiration poster - layout done, just needs layers of geometry
4. prayed all 5 salahs
5. researched mics and sound cards, now i have a plan of action.

 5 things that you are thankful for 

1. parents
2. food
3. my bed
4. my computer
5. my curiosity to understand things

 2 things that you would like to improve

1. listen to qur'an
2. physical activity during ramadan

Ramadan day 4

happy father's day. today i spent the time at home, i got to tidy up the prayer area and hoover the room. finally a clean place to pray :)
i would like to start a new format of blogging documenting the positive things and room for improvements. not only is this pragmatic, but i hope that over time i can begin to look for the positive things in life.

5 things that went well today

1. i washed
2. i completed my prayers
3. i cleaned the floor area in my room to allow me to pray
4. i listened to qur'an
5. meditation has helped me find peace after prayer

5 things that you are thankful for

1. having supportive parents
2. having a roof over my head
3. food
4. health
5. ability to be patient through this difficult time

2 things that you would like to improve

1. clean my desk area
2. be more active in the day

Ramadan day 3 cont.

Earlier in the morning I went out with mum for clothes shopping. Honestly I had no intention of buying anything but I really really wanted to purchase a new bag.
I also wanted to find something for Father's day... Unfortunately to no success at either. I did however find an amazing watch (I am a very picky person, especially with watches) that I could not put down, especially considering the price it was marked with. After much debate in my brain whether or not to take it, I decided to go for it. It has that quirky yet elegant dimensional feel to it that I generally do in my origami illustrations, plus it was bright and edgy.

Roxy The Yang digital watch, limited edition

This watch spoke to me, and not many things do that. So I'm overall happy purchase :D
After the shopping I was very low in energy.. After all, I did not sleep at all since Suhoor. I slept till it was time to break the fast.
I decided that perhaps the diet was a bad idea.. I have been experiencing stomach pains since my decision to diet, and I think it's because of the salts and excessive spices in the food I was ingesting. So for now, portion control is the way forward (and more water during the eating hours). 

Ramadan day 2-3

Day 2:
Priority is food today, after realising that the parents were unaware of my commitment to Ramadan this year. Honestly it made me a little sad that they wouldn't think I would fast this year. For the previous years I had not been able to do Ramadan properly. This was because of both work and revision commitments.
My health was also an issue, I don't attend the gym on a regular basis, so couple my stamina with fasting and I could only function on basic mentality levels... Almost like a zombie.
This year I have no commitments. I don't know if that's a blessing or not, but this Ramadan I want to make the most of it. This means praying 5 times a day,  learning the qiyam al layl prayer possibly if it doesn't prove to be difficult, and get to know more about my religion.
Moving away from the tangent ranting, today I went with my little sister shopping for food. I don't think I will be doing a completely strict diet, considering the lack of water and the possibility of pronounced ketosis, and muscle loss..  it's a little risky.
So, the menu consists of fish, chicken, broccoli, cauliflower, cheese sprinkles. (until I get bored from this combo)

Day 3:
I was so tired yesterday I fell asleep after Iftar and didn't awake till it was time for Suhoor. I felt a huge surge of exhaustion, possibly from the fasting or from doing so little activities. My arms in particular felt very weak. I may need to start some form of exercise or toning/stretches to maintain muscle composition.

I have been diagnosing the problems faced with the microphone on my pc and have come to the conclusion that the on board sound card present on my Asus x79 deluxe motherboard is actually very very bad for microphone input. I will need to purchase an exterior sound card.. Possibly the Asus Xonar U7. I also want to invest in an antlion modmic 4.0 which happens to be the best mic for pc.. Assuming that my current omni mic would not work properly with the sound card. Regardless, a dedicated sound card should fix the majority of transmission problems faced, and should make the overall sound of my computer yummy :D
I feel like these purchases are however optional and not urgent, so for the time being I would like to consider other options.

It has been 3 days away from league of legends and I don't feel withdrawal. Possibly because I've been so tired but maybe I had better will power than I thought. It's interesting how much time you realise you have in a day when you're not preoccupied with lol, I have been so much more productive but at the same time.. Repressed or ignored emotions that I have not dealt with the past 3 months have resurfaced. I guess Ramadan is perfect for this because you want to reach a higher spiritual enlightenment and strengthen the mind. Feels like a boot camp, kinda. 

Ramadan day 1

First day of Ramadan went well. No league of legends, no music and prayed 5 times today. I also had time to sort out a couple auctions on eBay in the aim to free up space in my room to actually place my prayer mat to pray.. Meanwhile I have been praying on my bed because the lack of floor space. It's funny looking at how lack of energy I have now compared to last year.
I ate kebabs with cauliflower and broccoli for dinner,  then deeply regretted eating the kebabs as I saw the amount of fat on my plate as it solidified. That's disgusting if it's going into my body. Tomorrow I hope to go shopping and actually find food I think would be better.. The problem is I don't want to go shopping on an empty stomach but things need to be done so I guess I just have to cope.
Ramadan kareem everyone. 

time heals

they say that time heals all wounds. i would like to believe this, i would like to say that i am moving on though it seems that i am more becoming numb to the pain than anything.
however i am starting to grow with frustration. i would like to escape from my current state of stasis.
i need something to help me get back on my feet so i've started looking for jobs, i've started to clean out my room, and i've started to take care of myself - but i need to do more.
with ramadhan around the corner i feel like i need a new outlook on life. i need to learn more about my religion to discover a new point of view. i hope to complete the qur'an this month, and surround myself with meaningful motivational pictures to help transform my current state into a more positive and productive vision.
i hope to report back here everyday of the month with my findings, in the hopes that something will sink in, something will flourish into greatness that i know i am certainly capable of.