Season's greetings

with the end of the month slowly creeping in, i'm getting more and more anxious as to why i don't jave a job yet.. i've been working on nothing but applications the past week and i'm really not liking the outcome so far!
there was a job posted last night that i really really wanted to apply for, and i've been working so darn hard perfecting my application for the role... i slept at 5am last night and i only had a little to write to finish off my application. this morning i get on, and poof! advert is gone :( i'm still kicking myself for not finishing the application... even if it was early darn it, it went on the website for less than a day!
are applications in london so hard to get? are they so heavily demanding that people just don't advertise there anymore? :(

Rage Quit

So after much thinking i've opened a private blog, i'm getting sick of typing out drafts that won't get published, so whats more awesome than making a brand new spankin blog with awesome privacy to help me destress.. no? still guys i will not reinstall black ops quit askin!

Dismantle.Repair

Informal visit to a theatre yesterday and dammit if I ever get that role I'll quit zombie slaying forever - my gruesome satisfaction of headshot counts, and blood, gutts and limbs splattered everywhere will be fulfilled. I'll be contempt, satisfied, convinced that black ops zombies is a time wasting mission that can never ever be complete. 4 days of no zombies and I'm still going. I have to admit though, every time my sister comes into my room - well, we both share the keen interest to increasing our ranking in the scoreboards! *sigh* I need this job... :/ life has to get better... right?

Through Chaos as it Swirls... Its just Us against the World - Coldplay (2011)
Picture taken on plane from Romania in October 2011

Why are people so difficult? Being generous, letting people decide what to do for themselves, letting others have some equality, sharing the success... and what do they do? Go out of their way to ensure your life with them becomes a living hell! This is what the new tenants have been doing. Dad generously let & helped them make their new place a home and what do they do? Veto the agreement & contract, don't pay rent, avoid communication, squirm when you go see them in person, threaten to leave, cause damage to the inside of the house. What on earth is wrong with these people? Why would they do something like this? 2 months in and they're being this wacky I honestly fear of what's yet to come. It isn't fair, this isn't natural... what causes such people to react this way? My dad is a good honest man, noble and charitable. These people have no right to treat him no less than the kindness he had showed them.

darn all the frustration - black ops uninstalled!

I UNINSTALLED BLACK OPS LAST NIGHT HA HA HA
i woke up today bright and early for a change! woo~ problem is, i got downstairs to have my breakfast thinking about how i'm going to make today so productive! i'm going to read so many chapters yeaah - and i get confronted by mum, who had her own list of things to do for me

whole day ruined. instead of doing what i wanted to do, i ended up doing ebay. i ended up going through all lil sis' junk, photographing each piece, uploading it online, writing a description about it, posting it on ebay. aa;hsdfgh sdhi;hd;sgh;ghdgh ;ghd boring repetitive work SERIOUSLY?! i'm not happy with myself.
on another note, i'm thinking about vlogging instead of writing all these blog posts - opinions?
serious time now, ebay is done, now to open those books and start scribbling about lovely biology <3

the undervalued significance of finding yourself

one of the things i have been working on is securing an interview - and one thing i've done is attend a workshop. at university you would have thought that by attending lectures, taking part in societies and events you would be getting the best exposure to how to tackle life outside studying... well.. not really. employers don't just look at your university life, they want to know what you've learned and how you developed as a person. the main objective of applying to anywhere is to tell the employer yes i know what the job is about, and i really want to work for you. basically you want to kiss ass, but make sure that your lips are going to stain, or... in other words, you should be aiming to leave a lasting impression in both the application/cv and the interview. think of your role model and how they inspired you, and try to portray that in the way you put yourself across.

in preparation or in times of self doubt, i find that meditation usually helps. concentrate on the qualities you have, and how you want people to see you. this way it flows naturally, even if its in the back of your mind, you will find that by looking deep into yourself, you can actually find the person you really want to be.

one time i was really really stressed out during revision time, and instead of rage quitting, i took a deep breath and decided to meditate. 15 mins is really all you need, just clear your mind, find that inner peace, no distractions, no muscles tensed, no bright lights (and don't fall asleep!) just concentrate on whats troubling you. in my case, i honestly didn't know what the stuff i was reading would get me. in a series of why? what? and how? questions i managed to find out what i really wanted to do. once you reach a spot where you can't question yourself any longer, thats when you know.

so theres 2 parts to this job advice, but it all really depends on you. where do you want to be in life? are you happy where you are? how can you change? boundaries are there to be broken, so don't let yourself be locked away in a cage. make the effort to be who you really want to be, and never get discouraged from others. in the end, its your life, and all your actions will consequently shape how you live it. stop wasting time, and start thinking about your future.