kill me now

why does everything have to be so complicated?

day 2 of training at this nursing home and all i keep thinking is, what the hell am i doing with these idiots? i keep telling myself shut up and get on with it. if i want the experience then i will have to endure the ridiculous-ness that i've got myself into. i have to learn, i have to be able to deal with a wide range of people. i've done it before and damn right i can do it again, and again if i really have to!

patience with the oldies and embrace the noob that you are in this... eh who am i kidding.

i spoke to this amazing manager in the dementia unit and she said i can do some shadowing there (eventually letting me work there too) and i thought O YEAH YOU GO DANIA MOAR IS GOOOD (i hope... at least that its good) ..uhh she was grinning at me, i hope thats in a good way... why do i feel like i'm in too deep?

the walk to this place is dreadful - i have to cross motorways, dual carriage ways, risk my life next to super fast traffic for 40 mins, while on the other side its completely deserted, no houses... just open fields, battling body-numbing freezing weather and the urge to just turn back. i can't flippin turn back its just day 2! agh! i wish i had a car! at least i wouldn't have to walk this long. i hate the pitty other employees have given me knowing that i have to walk. why on earth did they accept me? why in the devil did i accept them?!

my advice to self: shut up and get on with it. better now than never.