Old habits die hard

my focus for the past 2 weeks has been in shambles. who ever said you can do it overnight is a damn liar. how on earth can one expect to finish at all? nothing seems to have gone the way i had planned, of course nothing ever does! what am i supposed to do now? roll over and die? no way - i'm in this for the long run. i have to do my best and i have to keep my faith. i can do this. i know i can. 

i let the worst get the best of me, and i can't ever do that again. never again. i could feel my insides crying out in rage - my head immensely hurting, my muscles aching, my stomach burning, my breath all shallow and my poor tired self just unable to take on all this weight. can i really handle all this? i can't doubt myself. i have to have faith - i can't rely on life to become better, i have to somehow find the strength to fight through this obstacle. i cry as i type this for i know i am so much better than this. despite my state of mind and body, i have to face my fears, embrace whats yet to come and improve. this cannot happen again. this state of old habit has to die. there is no other way.