the dark days

today i had to give a notice, and provide an end date with the nursing home. its been really nice and all, but everything has to have an ending. sooner or later my time will be consumed with other priorities and so i have to keep on top of things. its always bitter when you end a good journey, it leaves a sour remain in the hearts of the people looking after you. perhaps its a feeling associated with letting those people down somehow by stepping down, or perhaps its just the reality that you've been shielded from simply by going about your day. its not always so green and wonderful on the other side, more than often its a complete disappointment.
nevertheless, its always good to make the most of what you have left. look beyond the bitter in people's hearts and care for whats really important, your significance, and how to become a better person. its never good to hear negative feedback, however its always better to take this on and use it as a challenge to get better.
i never thought i'd ever have to look after elderly! then again here i am, doing it and enjoying it strangely enough! despite this, i look at what i'm doing and somehow feel bad for myself. i know i deserve better, i know i am worth so much more, i should be treated so much better.. but this road, i chose to go with it. now i'm here i have to see it through, its not a chore, its a miracle i'm still here and carrying on. i've never been so proud of myself ever in my life. this feels right and the obstacles i have to endure, i know will only make me stronger.