moment lulz

HCA *finishes pad change and within 2 seconds leaves the patient, still curtains drawn, leaves us both astonished (and creeped) at her speed*

me: so Chris, would you like anything to drink?
Chris: well.. do we have anything with a kick?
me: would you like some water? theres a glass of water on your table
Chris: i'm spoilt for choice

*me getting the point 5 seconds later, realising how daft offering choice was in this situation*

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*I come to remove used bedpan from under patient, bed was wet*
me: ah oops it looks like we've missed the bedpan
cherry: sorry..
me: uhm- its really not your fault..
cherry frowns: never thought i'd be in this situation, sober.

*me trying to stay professional*
me: its no problem, its actually quite common don't worry!
me: if you roll over to your right, i can...

*cherry rolls over. i start to condense the wet sheet, realising at how wet the mattress was, i begin to dry the mattress frantically*
cherry: i didn't catch that
me: damage control.
cherry chuckles

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more to come :)