alhamdu'allah

crazy crazy insane and overwhelming >.< i passed assessment today for hca and spoke to a manager about my double ended offer deal at the hospital and they've said that if i don't accept one then i am ok to go through with the interview. a relief yet more panic on my plate to be honest.. i came home and slept like a sleep deprived grizzly to only wake up to the sound of my phone ringing. so the nursing home decided to make me a full time offer where i get to work both in assisted living and the dementia unit. crazy that the manager actually remembered our conversation when i first started, and even more crazy now i have to choose!!! dammit dania ok i'm feelin the love but what the hell?! i feel like a job offer slut somehow with me hogging offers on every end xD but in all seriousness i can't be the only person going through this kind of situation, surely this happens in all business sectors, it just takes time to develop the necessary skills and experience.
looking back in november i was desperate to hear something, anything from all the places i had been applying to and now.. ehh its a struggle of deciding what is the best option to go for.

i can't say this enough:

alhamdu'allah alrahman al'atheem!!!

 all this work is making me question myself even more, how does this make me a competent individual? how does all this work contribute to my drive and motivation? how do i know its the right path for me? with so many choices i feel privileged but at the same time, trapped in indecision and doubt. i need to speak up about all this but patience in people is wearing thin, and i can completely understand this. its tough and really, its my life at the end of the day. no one can tell me how i live it.. i have to learn to cope, i have to understand myself better and i have to know whats best for me to enable me to be better at helping others... ehh if that makes sense.

sleep tym :/ 3am woo~ ... =_=