deus ex machina

spread your wings

today has been very weird.. i've tried to define the events that took place and i haven't been able to really understand this place yet. it all feels empty, meaningless and quite literally a chore. i had information overload with navigation, terms, acronyms, understanding the basics, etc. one important question: what does the job entail is yet to be answered i don't feel like i've established this core and important question. everything seems off and disorganised... the aspects of work are all to new and i still don't really understand what my job here really is. what? am i supposed to somehow come up with a meaning to all this? certainly my first day has done no good.
i felt very claustrophobic today in the staff room. so many people sitting so close to each other, in a narrow L-shaped room really made me want to leave as soon as possible. i don't think that i'm quite ready for this.. i don't like being trapped and today thats what it felt like.
a hospital environment isn't as good as i thought.. well i honestly didn't have any high expectations but still, i wanted this and now i have to work hard to get accustomed to this new environment. everyone was friendly, then again, everyone would be on your first day. standard protocol.