pretend clothes shopping & back pain

road rage victim LOL

my back... is killing me. the pain is just sufficiently there, not too painful that i can't move, and not painless so i can move. its basically there to remind me:

ohai yes i'm still here to annoy you. aww you can't walk straight? well fuck you suffer for your sins demon!

anyways i haven't been shopping for clothes in... 3 months. yeah ever since i got back from romania, i've been punishing myself. no job = no clothes. problem is, with work experience coming up, i am forced to go to shops and browse for clothes. the fact that i have to get something, and.. i have a limited budget just makes shopping no fun at all. with my back pain reaching to my shoulders today i felt so weak. having to do this shopping in a forced manner made me very uneasy to be around. this kind of stuff should be a solo mission. to add to the frustration, i want to lose the weight i put on after coming back from romania. i guess the bad news affected me in so many ways i haven't really looked at myself to examine the damage till now. better now than later right?
wrong, i have interviews and work experience coming up so now, really does need to be NOW and not tomorrow.

just looking at my planner puts me in panic theres so many things happening i have to get my stamina back and be prepared. didn't i say the worst is yet to come? well it feels like its already begun. what? 2 days later and i'm overflowing with things to do. heres just some of the things i need to sort out:
CRB forms, photocopy id stuff, order moar print cartridges, phone up FJ and tell her about my upcoming interviews, get my teeth checked out, shop for smart clothes, meet up with adviser, REVISE ffs revise :( , print out travel tickets, manually retrieve travel tickets, application forms, prepare for interviews, practice answers, background check those bastard rents, phone up that volunteer supervisor and ask about my morning work, bodyrawk, declutter work space, go to the meeting in that church o_O meh. the list is endless, as for self-development heres something close to what i have:

oh and today i got another interview <3 HA HA HA how about that? another thing to add to my list of to-do. i remain skeptical to the frequency of such things on such short notice and the likeliness of success in any of these. theres so many people out there better than me, more desperate than me, more deserving than me. alhamdu-allah for the wonderful blessings i just wish i could be more happy of all this... insha'allah.

baby steps

when did democracy start to dominate who gets the job? i went to the weirdest job interview today. heck - i didn't even know how they got my information or what job i've applied for... meh. turns out i was the only one there that didn't know how on earth did this care home select me. nevertheless.. i persevered.  

it was a group interview and uhh we were only asked 2 questions ¬_¬

1. introduce yourself
2. pick whoever you thought most deserved the job. you can't write your name down.

FFFFUUUUUU!!!!!

so i took the train, walked along an excessively long motorway road in smart clothes to this place and this is all i get? agh! after this weird place i went back to town to try to find recharge. where the hell is recharge? i see it every time i'm in town but today, when i really really needed to go see FJ its gone. the place just vanishes! really felt retarded, especially after asking people around who were also incredibly unhelpful. i must have looked like a wierdo stalking the church windows. darn it google maps. oh and another funny moment with my adviser - i didn't know where town hall was. he called me and was like uhm.. don't you live here? LOL FML.

I went crazy on jewellery today, i bought some really sweet necklaces from accessorize and clairs'. i'm always looking out for those clean, minimalistic yet detailed kind of jewellery and today i was in the mood for turquoise & silver.

when i got home i was exhausted. i haven't walked this much in a long time so today felt like running a marathon. i had a lovely surprise when i opened my email to find ANOTHER interview! yes yes yes!! 8 page application form paid off. i'm so happy that finally i got an interview through my application form. alhamdu'allah wa shukruh!!!! woo ~ yaaay :D

yessssssss!

fashion haul - you knew it was coming

i've got so much on my mind, but you know what, i'm not going to talk about it. this is what i bought today:

Blowfish Dark Brown Boots, rpp £50.00 bought for £16.00

amazing boots are amazing! for so long i've wanted a pair of blowfish boots, they just look so different, simple and something out of an assassin's creed game! the colour of these boots is just right and has a lovely texture to it - i just couldn't resist. mum of course did not approve. she thought it wasn't up to her standards, to me, well.. i need new brown boots as my previous pair lasted for 6 years!!! and the faux leather was cracking, the bottom of the shoe print was obliterated and the smell was crying out "throw me away!". i have a feeling though, i may need to double the socks for a while as the subcutaneous calcaneal bursa of my feet are going to hurt. not that the boots are uncomfortable - on the contrary they are an amazing fit, but in long distance walking, the friction would bring out the evilness in any shoe, and these boots are no exception.

another thing i bought today was this:

Bench Bradie black jacket with hood, rpp £75.00 bought for £20.00 

this jacket is comfy and warm and has a hood too! i honestly thought this was a bargain because quality of this baby - is unmatched! one issue with this one though is that.. it attracts those loose hairs from scarves and wool - but other than that.. this was an amazing find. initially this was picked for my mum, but somehow i ended up trying & buying it for myself! nevermind..