confessions of the heart

i wish the heart was an open book

first of all, happy valentines day. its been a crazy and manic week of complete and endless work. i have had absolutely no breaks.. so much so.. its 5.51am as i am writing this - its literally the only time i have to myself. i caught up with tv: house, greys anatomy, gossip girl, once upon a time, and grimm. obviously not all in 1 night but still - i haven't been watching as much as i usually do, a change really, a good change.
i keep saying its difficult, in reality i might be over-complicating my life. its quite simple, get the experience, reflect on it and nothing else. everything else can wait.
i still haven't heard back from the physio guys.. and i'm really starting to get concerned. tomorrow is a game of chasing tails and tying loose ends. at least i hope to do that.. its been affecting my mood greatly as i thought everything would be all done and organised by february, yet still.. i am no where where i need to be. perhaps thats whats making it difficult, things don't come easy, things don't like to be organised and people most certainly don't like being forced to do work.

i had 2 sessions of shadowing with the nursing home and i think i did ok.. for a complete amateur that is.. i have to get better though. things definitely are not easy.. i just wish i'd started sooner, perhaps i wouldn't be looking at myself twice.. to reassess what i have and what i should have... ehh i'm no where near where i need to be. slacking on the job hunt is not helping either. with how busy i've been these days i have barely had any time to search. perhaps less watching tv and more job hunting? wheres the time for revision then? i would need to completely remove my computer from my room for any reading to be established... my computer is like a magnet for creativity, and not very biotechnology-friendly. x_x