lack of care

i was working with these healthcare assistants today that just seem to want to get things done. they treat the patients like a lifeless, emotionless vessel with no regard of 'care' and it just made me want to badmouth them there and then. i know that if i was in a hospital i would not want to be looked after by any of them because their care skills are simply terrible. it just made me wonder, why do people go into care work if they don't commit? care work can be enjoyed so much more if you treat patients with respect, if only they could see what they are doing.. thats all i want.

the spread & jam

the simplest of the things we can do for our patients. the problem is, being a healthcare assistant in an ortho ward with a granny who likes nothing on the menu but spread and jam on bread is deeply concerning. the menu is supposed to be designed to offer choice. this poor lady only wants fish and chips - instead, she is always getting jam and spread.
yesterday i had my very first long shift. i didn't plan to do a whole day but then again if i was to survive in this hell hole i do have to take a few hits for my own sake as well as others. perhaps if i did this, someone along the way will return the favour.
anyway, i think i did over 20 spread and jams yesterday over the course from 7am till 9pm. if only i could learn something from all this.. if only.

compelled to quit

It feels futile the efforts and dedication given to the things that matter the most when it comes to the outcome and it seems so bleak and significantly disappointing. you feel as though your priorities change. you no longer wish to do the job you were contractually obliged to do, but instead look inside to realise that your efforts all this time were disregarded, wasted. you realise that in order to gain something you must lose another. today i was faced with this decision, and the first thought cropped into my head was to quit this dead end job. quit the misery and the suffering. quit the anxiety and the depression. quit the longing to kill yoursellf everytime you hear that patient calling 'nurse' every few minutes. thinking more thoroughly i identified that indeed, i am not happy where i am in life. i am working at a role that is below my potential and indeed it may be a stepping stone, it feels as though i am not learning anything. i feel that the experience gained does not outweigh my desire to quit this job. and so, i am now faced with a harsh and real decision: shall i quit this job and concentrate on other things?
i feel tourmented between yes and no. i feel like a caged bird in this job, yet if i am to set myself free i fear for things to go south. i have already witnessed how not having a job affected someone dear to me, two people in fact. though i know that something like that will never happen to me. i am simply stronger and i have my initiative. i am however stuck. i cant choose whether to quit, just 2 months into the role, or stay and see if things do get better... i doubt they would get better. in fact, i know they won't get better. with that said i feel that the answer should be obvious. i should simply take a leap of faith, and quit.

How can we be right?

so yesterday i was faced with a prominent issue at work, our ward was invaded with post operation patients from the surgical ward. problem is, we've never had training on how to deal with these type of patients (us HCAs). everyone was so different! 2 patients came from EMT (ears, mouth & throat ward), 1 from  plastics, 1 from cardio and the remainder were abdo-pains/ gastroenterology. we had to change the boards 3 times in my shift because of ortho patients no longer were able to stay on the wards because of this influx. so predominantly i was making beds.
to tackle the problem with these new patients i had to keep asking for help because unlike ortho patients, these guys obviously were more in pain, required more nursing needs rather than what is required in the HCA job description.