magical fantastical yet lacking

spending 60% of your time at work can sometimes have a huge impact on your family life. essentially you are spending more time at work than seeing your loved ones - lets face it when you get home, you barely have time left in the day and all you want to do is head to bed.
consequently, working as a healthcare assistant can sometime be a drag. when everyone is enjoying their weekend, you're the one that has to be off to work either really early in the morning or abruptly destroying your lunchtime at home to get to work on time. either way, your weekend is ruined!!
when you finally have the time off, everyone else would be at work, you get bored, and quite simply, quality time with family just simply isn't possible.
this makes me wonder, how happy am i at work? people at work would be classed as your second family because you are predominantly spending more time there. if the relationships at work are not up to scratch, make the effort to make your time worthwhile. otherwise, it just shows that you are unhappy where you are, take a chance and change. if a job is not satisfactory then begin applying elsewhere. you don't have to stay and endure the hardships and politics at work. after all, its not healthy to be in a bad relationship - any shrink would tell you this!

part of your world

I thought that by becoming a healthcare assistant i would get this amazing insight into how the ward functioned. reality is different. today consisted of a considerable amount of washes in the morning, followed by wiping away diarrhea while trying to mobilise a patient. if it was up to me, i would have taken the patient there using a commode, but the new nurse decided against it. nevertheless, damage control was our objective. this was then followed by a major and elaborate bed movements. i was so tired by the end of my shift. healthcare assistance is not a glorified role, you are on the front line and it requires great resilience to get through shift after shift. of course, this wouldn't be a problem for someone who just wants to hurt their back at work, but for the majority of us, it means always assessing the best course of action to take. its important to work smart, because if you don't you could be wiping away diarrhea all day. 

compelled to quit

It feels futile the efforts and dedication given to the things that matter the most when it comes to the outcome and it seems so bleak and significantly disappointing. you feel as though your priorities change. you no longer wish to do the job you were contractually obliged to do, but instead look inside to realise that your efforts all this time were disregarded, wasted. you realise that in order to gain something you must lose another. today i was faced with this decision, and the first thought cropped into my head was to quit this dead end job. quit the misery and the suffering. quit the anxiety and the depression. quit the longing to kill yoursellf everytime you hear that patient calling 'nurse' every few minutes. thinking more thoroughly i identified that indeed, i am not happy where i am in life. i am working at a role that is below my potential and indeed it may be a stepping stone, it feels as though i am not learning anything. i feel that the experience gained does not outweigh my desire to quit this job. and so, i am now faced with a harsh and real decision: shall i quit this job and concentrate on other things?
i feel tourmented between yes and no. i feel like a caged bird in this job, yet if i am to set myself free i fear for things to go south. i have already witnessed how not having a job affected someone dear to me, two people in fact. though i know that something like that will never happen to me. i am simply stronger and i have my initiative. i am however stuck. i cant choose whether to quit, just 2 months into the role, or stay and see if things do get better... i doubt they would get better. in fact, i know they won't get better. with that said i feel that the answer should be obvious. i should simply take a leap of faith, and quit.

student nurses

so i had a student nurse helping me out today and giggles just couldn't stop. maybe it was the ridiculous amount of washes we accomplished or how patients just lit up today, even the sleepy ones. it was really nice to see the ward in an upbeat atmosphere for a change :)

3-6 hours a day of revision is blasphemy! :O

so doc was saying that you need at least 3-6 hours a day of revision (and 6 hours of revision definitely on your day off) and i freaked. how on earth are we expected to get this amount of revision a day sorted? today i'm clearing out my megaz0r computer, substituting it with an ultrabook. that guys, is because this laptop has no graphics card, which means no games/movies to distract me. i've also created a revision timetable which this time round i intend to stick to because i can't ever get 3 - 6 hours of revision done in a day, so the only way to do it is to keep things fresh in my mind through accumulative forms be it listening to myself reading a book, or actually reading/practicing parts relevant for gamsat. meh.. it all sounds glamorous now just wait till march x.x ehh will keep a log of my knowledge base here over the course of the year.