says it all

light up the sky

2 more essays done, work experience letter done, section 2 essay help notes done. 2 hours of uninterrupted revision on biochemistry next on the menu prior to marking sec 1 stuffies. lets keep going!

the hardest part

is establishing order. today has been quite a mess, a constant struggle trying to keep everyone happy...i started revising sec 1 when i got through 14 questions i just wanted to stop, it was overwhelming reading texts again and again just to get the nitty gritty little things that tell you its the right answer. so i took a break and the whole day just went! feeling guilty now :( will finish off section 1 questions and move on to review the blue acer booklet to prepare for the online study session.

on other news, i finally got my copy of the meaning of things by a c grayling. hoping that this book would be a more interesting read to complement the revision :D
i've read the intro, was cool, hoping to read 1 chapter of it a day till exam day or till book is finished..

i also got another book about how to live life..... >.> yeah i know i've been hanging around the weird books section. i'm a quarter through that book and i got to say i like how the author is so chilled in his words, its really interesting reading it. its not a book i would normally read but its equally relevant and interesting, kupo?
on another unrelated note, i completed final fantasy 13-2 fully overnight (did not interfere with revision time yesterday), and zomg the ending was amazing. there were some themes in the game that i've actually been thinking about, and would be relevant to university interviews.. even though none of my questions were answered, it was lovely seeing the past/future manifest and getting a perspective, despite being fictional, equally significant. i wish noel was real, i think we would get on really well.. *sigh* japanese video game heroes *sigh*

Hypnagogia

so i think i experienced a version of this, its mild and i dare say i want to learn to control it because its scary.
i'll briefly explain what hypnagogia means first.

the hypnagogic state is a strange phenomena that occurs at the onset of sleep. it induces visions, voices, insights and peculiar sensations as you sail through the borderland state. people are commonly used to seeing the familiar faces, landscapes or merely geometric shapes dance across the visual field at night. many would assume that it is merely the adjustment of your eyes to darkness/ low light conditions. with focus however, these complex patterns can be manipulated at will, e.g. focusing on a single shape within a pattern you may zoom in, discover more shapes, or look around the area, rotate or change the shapes, etc.

i can definitely say that i've experienced the geometric shapes previously - as i could quite give an elaborate description of it. the experience is actually quite similar to meditating and gives the brain a sense of clarity and focus away from the worries of the day. it basically helps you get to sleep.

while i was sick however, i didn't merely experience muscle pains and aches associated with the onset of the flu through the night. i experienced a sense of paralysis accompanied by strange repetitive (abstract) noises which to me sounded like blood flowing through arteries.
the scary part was that my mind was conscious, i was aware that i was asleep, or wanted to sleep because i was sick and wanted to get better. i couldn't will my fingers to move, or lift my arm, or even roll over. gravity had me pinned in place. i couldn't wake up either, or more precisely open my eyes - an effect which gave me unnecessary anxiety.

i don't think i have sleep apnea because the sleep paralysis was brief, and this sleep paralysis followed my episode of hypothermia (same night i had the flu symptoms) and it was probably brought on by my severe headache.

i didn't think much of it until it happened again 2 nights later (my flu was way into full swing by then). the second time round it was pretty much the same experience, but briefer because i knew what it was, and so i wasn't in panic.

to finally open your eyes from sleep paralysis brings relief. the moment you will your eyes open, the sensory stimulation of paralysis and noise depletes.
to stop this from giving me a scare i want to learn to control this, tackle it better.. i want to stop the paralysis from the beginning, and for some reason i think it may have something to do with the amount of oxygen reaching the brain, in addition to strengthening the muscles around the chest area. low oxygen = paralysis... if that makes sense?

so to me thats another reason to work out.. i think it would help in more than one way in my life.

organised mess

to my surprise, today i realised that i have to organise when to do practice questions - as i opened a verbal reasoning book i realised it has many many practice tests.. which cannot be crammed into a single day's revision. i had to pause and rethink my revision timetable. its difficult to decide on what you need to do for the day when you have just glanced over the book's cover annd had no idea whats inside!!!! silly mistakes..
though knowing that there is more practice in the book just makes me anxious even more. would i have enough time to go through it all?