dearly beloved

for the past few days it seems that everytime i lay on my bed, ready to go to sleep, the gamsat test creeps into my head. today i decided to separate the associations of sleep with gamsat. to do this, i made a list of all the topics that i could think of that came on the test. there weren't a lot that i could remember, and it seems the questions themselves seem so far away - but still, i think i felt traumatised by how many questions i found hard on the test day. i hope to get better sleep tonight knowing that i've written out the topics. yay for brains being weird.

these essays

it hit me. today as i was going through the list of themes used in gamsat, in acer's ridiculous random themes there is actually some order. all of the themes share a common ground. they are issues doctors would have to face on a day to day.. or even in the lifetime career of any medical profession. they are not set merely to test our language, they are in a sense capturing one aspect of our perspective of a given emotion, in the hopes that we would be able to draw up our knowledge and experience to tackle such issues, the right way.

as i watched today unfold, i couldn't help but see this theme projected right in front of me. these supposedly unpredictable and unexplainable themes, they exist in life. learning to tackle the challenges faced in life equips us with the knowledge to answer these essays. these questions that though we might not ponder over them consciously, but inevitably we ponder over them.

i need to see change

frustrations kicking in, everytime i figure something out, another problem crops up, stripping away the confidence. i need to start seeing progress, i need to see change!!!
section 1 and 3 half test done, awaiting discussion over at scribblar. more biology done this week.. there is so much more material left to cover, i feel really annoyed with myself.

chillstep for revision

is it too early? i've resorted to places like plug.dj to update my music list and i've come across some amazing music to help me keep focused. to put it simply, the genre is called chillstep.
much much has been happening this week, bio revision, bio questions, essays, finished off orange booklet, started reading a new book about philosophy, gone through the physics questions.. aah too much done, though i still feel its not enough >.<

wild flowers

online essays today - typed and ready <3
i bought some flowers to add a bit of life into my boring looking study desk.. its getting filled with papers, booklets, practice essays.. it needs order and more life.

the devil in the essay themes

is it just me or some essay themes seem to be so terrible?! maybe its because i find the topics boring but meh, some of them really do really fry your brain.
accomplished today section 3 timed practice acer questions, wrote 2 essays, attended doc's seminar and made my very first kale salad! i think i'm slightly more happy about the kale salad than the rest of the stuff i've done today >.>; moving on to marking section 3 now fun times.

zOMG kale salad with pine nuts, peppers, tomatoes spring onions, baby spinach, lemonz and rocket leaves :D

itemization

revision blows. i took yesterday as a break, today i did some maths in physics goodness. a c grayling's book is truly amazing, i'm always wanting to read more everytime i grab the book ;D

lazy sunday

one lazy sunday its been! absolutely no motivation to revise, at all. I barely squeezed in an essay today, maybe i'm just using really hard themes.. meh, its blatantly obvious that a crappy complicated theme like prejudice would come up in the exams.

light up the sky

2 more essays done, work experience letter done, section 2 essay help notes done. 2 hours of uninterrupted revision on biochemistry next on the menu prior to marking sec 1 stuffies. lets keep going!

moar essay madness

just realised, thats 3 essays done this week - 1 more left to go and we have a status quo
my VO max was complete rubbish today i feel like i'm back in the dark ages again aghh.. i hate stopping exercise - its nothing intentional but when you're sick, you're sick! what can you do that will count as exercise without the flu symptoms completely destroying your mood to work out?
i found the perfect fix to stop me wanting a nap in the late afternoon - apply foundation!!!! ehehehe
merry christmas by the way :>

sour essays about punishment

did a punishment essay today from the blue acer booklet and i have to say, it was punishing enough getting through it under timed conditions. today has been the first day where i didn't have a coughing fit/muscle pains from the flu i've suffered with for the past 2.5 weeks. it means i'm exercising tomorrow w00p w00p :D
i've spent the day organising all the documents collected from my hca job into a neat and organised folder. it should make things easier for me to use when i need to revise what i've learned in time for job interviews.. meh.. didn't realise how much strain came with getting organised! anyways, at least i've started the revision process, i need to continue building up the load, and clearing out what i don't need from my room. its been a good day today :)

a post to keep on track

I wish i could say i've been revising. i wish i could tell you about all the wonders i've learned over the past weeks. i wish i could say that life has been good to me.. in reality the past weeks have been chaos. mainly, its my fault, and i'll be the first to admit it. i chose to work full time, i chose to volunteer for both the olympics and paralympics... things need to come together, but like water, you can't grip hold of time. with so much on the line.. i need to feel prepared.. and however hard i try to get organised, my energy is wasted elsewhere. be it work, or volunteering, or daily chores.. i feel limited. i barely sleep, and i feel like crap every single day.
i haven't told a soul at work or any of my friends about my intentions to do medicine. i almost did, but the person i spoke to really showed her true colours and reinforced my original decision to keep it a secret. i don't want to be treated differently, just equally as other members of staff.
i attended a physics online seminar with the doc today, and spent the rest of the day going through essay technique, had a nap earlier, and here i am now. i want to complete reading about part a of essays today and squeeze in some practice. i really need it! heres to wishful thinking:

insha'allah

tasks a&b are never fun

can one truly ever be free from responsibility? doubt it.. though today i found that the collective minds of determination has helped greatly. i've done my first essays for gamsat:
i hate their poor quality but at least i tried! and did them under timed conditions yay :D

have a read, please give me some feedback, i would really appreciate it