Time to get sucked in

Easing back to revision has been a roller-coaster ride. It's great on some days, terrible on others. Working full time, and doing the YouTube thing is exhausting enough.
nonetheless, if you want something to happen, you have to put in the hours.. and the work to achieve it.

So far away

It has been a while. So much has happened since my last post. Started a chilled youtube channel (check the video above) and have been distant from the books for over a month. Friends from Australia had began preparation for interviews, pondering over which universities to go for, and asking questions about their next step. I feel as though I've made no progress.. On top of it all, Scribblar had changed their policies and now expects their users to pay to use rooms. Something which should remain free for all. Absolutely appalled by this!!!

GI unit interview lulz

would it mean my interview was good if i made one of the interviewers cry?

ah who cares! I MADE A MATRON CRY! LOL?!

dear matron, if you ever stumble on this post, this is for you:

this made my day! i was a nervous wreck when i came in, i think it was partly because i over-prepared or maybe it was the anxiety all the patients waiting around were giving off, i don't normally get this nervous.

anyways, i did not expect this kind of reaction (lol) what happens when someone reacts so emotionally to what you're saying? it shows, under all that armour we're all human.

after all the damn prep yesterday, nothing was asked about endoscopy :( also learned that the role is so independent you won't even have patient contact :( really really disappointed i think i'd decline the offer if indeed i was offered the position.


as a treat today i got these lovely boots on the left, they look amazing! :>

GI unit prep

did absolutely no revision today, as i have a job interview tomorrow for a technician assistant post in the GI unit. first impressions from reading about endoscopy: yeah great stuff but what else is there? it seems too constricted and like a fast pace get the patient in, spray their throat, stick a probe down their throat, take pretty pictures, take samples and done, kick them out the door the moment they feel ok to stand on their feet >_>
this made me have second thoughts about the post. my roles predominantly would mean that i would be stuck in the washroom, all by myself, washing endoscopes all day with hazardous chemicals that could (and would ultimately) give me dermatitis.
considering that i want to do medicine, would it be worth the risk?  my ego insta-answer self tells me no, but my brain is really split between the "suck it up, you've done far worse in your life" and the other telling me "fuck that shit, go revise. pass that gamsat, you're not THAT desperate".
either way, job interview tomorrow so fingers crossed x.x; 

paradigm shift

today i was actually disappointed to find a job interview offer in my mail box, DISAPPOINTED! last year i would have been dancing around my room.. what the hell is wrong with me?!

astaghfur allah al'atheem...

I should look at this more positively.
at least its not a healthcare assistant job per se.. agh they are all the same are they not? cleaning poop/wee from an unfortunate soul stuck in the hospital because they happen to be sick? *sighhh..*
moar biochemistry done today along with sec 1 material. i really need to improve my sec 1, its complete ridicule compared to august last year. marked some of it.. i think i may have been half asleep answering some of the questions. i can't make silly little mistakes like this in the actual exam. 

we think too much and feel too little

happy new years by the way.. can't truly say i celebrated, for i know i shouldn't till i pass gamsat. funny how things are placed on hold while you concentrate on whats really important in life at the very moment in time.
its like while you're there in the moment, you can see all  these things around you, and its really your choice whether to get washed away in the stream or see the events unfold, as you wait patiently for your moment. its no sign of fear, its a sign of a wise adult making the decision of when to take action.
so this week its been biochemistry frenzy. i love biochemistry.. well some of it because its like piecing proteins and molecules together to make something else, with so many possibilities.. ok, i try to like biochemistry! i have to :O
i need to work on my revision schedule.i find that i'm thinking about gamsat all day, and accomplishing little, or just enough to get through the timetable. i need to make time for other things.. and that includes doing shifts at the hospital. 

reloading

lacking inspiration to post as i have not began the revision for the march exam. i am well aware that 3 months have passed since the september exam took place, and 1 month since results for the september exam came out. it does indeed make me feel like i have neglected myself. today marks the last day of work as a healthcare assistant (21/12/12). i have opted for full time revision. this decision doesn't come easy as i know how hard it is to stay on track by myself, so i'm going to make regular entries every single day (beginning this weekend). i'm hoping that i could improve other things too, like me getting fitter so i can have more energy for revision. hopefully the two would complement each other, and i would start to see some results. i can't imagine doing a healthcare assistant job without a good mark under my wings, it has to happen this march.

results & job quitting

so after results week i decided that its time to quit, and so i did. in fact, i did so the following day! time doesn't come easy, and i'm working on it. revision has to happen, and it has to be done properly this time round. no more stupid delays or excuses. doing the hca job has done nothing but turn my heart to stone. i am doing a mindless job, and it has to stop before i lose my mind!

new job (and minion blog) and revision

mini notice: new blog where i discuss everything healthcare assistant related, here: http://***.blogspot.co.uk/ deleted, sorry for any inconvenience

so gamsat was a chore, and well i'm not expecting a fabulous score as i was very much drowning with work. during my absence (from here) i've been playing world of warcraft (post-exam). its my way to chill after exams, take a pc game and grind my characters and complete the game 100%.
of course though now that november is here, world of warcraft stops, and attention goes back to revision. i didnt actually think i would enjoy this game much honestly.. but its very less social than flyff which really makes it terrible! enough brain matter destruction so bring on the wonderful joys of revision :D

a post to keep on track

I wish i could say i've been revising. i wish i could tell you about all the wonders i've learned over the past weeks. i wish i could say that life has been good to me.. in reality the past weeks have been chaos. mainly, its my fault, and i'll be the first to admit it. i chose to work full time, i chose to volunteer for both the olympics and paralympics... things need to come together, but like water, you can't grip hold of time. with so much on the line.. i need to feel prepared.. and however hard i try to get organised, my energy is wasted elsewhere. be it work, or volunteering, or daily chores.. i feel limited. i barely sleep, and i feel like crap every single day.
i haven't told a soul at work or any of my friends about my intentions to do medicine. i almost did, but the person i spoke to really showed her true colours and reinforced my original decision to keep it a secret. i don't want to be treated differently, just equally as other members of staff.
i attended a physics online seminar with the doc today, and spent the rest of the day going through essay technique, had a nap earlier, and here i am now. i want to complete reading about part a of essays today and squeeze in some practice. i really need it! heres to wishful thinking:

insha'allah

HCA work y/n?

Yuna eyes are so pretty

how much experience can hca work actually get you? job descriptions kind of just say you'll be working with nurses.. what about doctors? i need that experience with doctors :(
revision is going really slow :L i need to spend more time on biochemistry!

one step closer

it feels like so long ago that i decided i wanted to do medicine.. it has only hit me now that i've got a long way to go.. so much to read, so much time to dedicate working as an underdog, i just hope i'm not really setting myself up for disappointment. 

insha'allah my hard work will be rewarded

i did something different this month and got myself a treat for all the long hours i've spent on my feet.

Clarks Gore-tex leather ankle boots - £30 from Clarks clearance

i've been wearing these water-proof clarks semi-high boots that go just above your ankle. they're lovely and comfortable until the weather gets really hot, and the hospital becomes a greenhouse! in the hospital where your own waterproof shoes start to become a swimming pool of sweat. odour follows soon after, so in all attempts to prevent this i decided to get some trainers. heres what i decided to go for:

Reebok Easytrain Viva Mid trainers - £50 from Debenhams.com

i've found that the ankle height boots to be really flattering and elegant with the uniform i currently wear at the hospital. i'm hoping these trainers will fit true to size really.. they should be coming today :P

this fire

can i complain? i hope i can.. this place is a gamsat log, and so i have something to moan about - sorry in advance! so with my situation at the moment, i'm working 2 jobs, that means i work 7 days a week, each day i work 8 hours + 2 hours of travel (each day) + 1 hour for dinner = 10 hours already gone from my 24 hours. i take 8 hours on average for sleep, this leaves me with 6 hours left. lets say i spend 3 hours a day revising.. where on earth does the other 3 hours go?! ok so 1 hour to get ready for work or 2 hours to wash & get ready for work.. what on earth am i doing for those extra few hours?! when i count them up like this it sounds like i'm using my time productively right? it really doesn't feel like it :/
revision timetable has been just about ok & manageable, but i can't seem to fit any practice questions/essays time in the revision slots. this is really frustrating me. it takes 2 hours to do a paper (section 1 practice) and at least an extra 2 hours going through the answers.. or at least theoretically that is dependent on how much time i could spend looking at explanation for answers.
i've got to do something, it feels like i can barely have any time to revise.. i need to do some practice questions too >.< i don't feel like i'm putting enough time into this, and its all crucial really.. i can't fail this time round, i just can't.

We are all connected

gcse physics done :D gosh thought that book would never end! section 1 you're next!

i'm having trouble with HR at the hospital regarding my references, where could one hire an assassin to infiltrate their headquarters and assassinate their leader? i could really use an ezio right now *sigh*

panic

i spent the whole afternoon looking through all my revision material.. what i intend to use and oh my god.. i have so much to get through!!!
so after organising the material into separate sections (based on whats been examined according to acer) i've come up with a list of 22 thick piles to get through. wtf was i thinking last week doing just gcse physics?! i've got so much to get through *panics*

handed in my notice to part time job, theres no way i'll be able to pass without more time devoted to this revision. problem is, i know this won't be enough, i'll need a miracle ahhh!!