dearly beloved

for the past few days it seems that everytime i lay on my bed, ready to go to sleep, the gamsat test creeps into my head. today i decided to separate the associations of sleep with gamsat. to do this, i made a list of all the topics that i could think of that came on the test. there weren't a lot that i could remember, and it seems the questions themselves seem so far away - but still, i think i felt traumatised by how many questions i found hard on the test day. i hope to get better sleep tonight knowing that i've written out the topics. yay for brains being weird.

i need to see change

frustrations kicking in, everytime i figure something out, another problem crops up, stripping away the confidence. i need to start seeing progress, i need to see change!!!
section 1 and 3 half test done, awaiting discussion over at scribblar. more biology done this week.. there is so much more material left to cover, i feel really annoyed with myself.

chillstep for revision

is it too early? i've resorted to places like plug.dj to update my music list and i've come across some amazing music to help me keep focused. to put it simply, the genre is called chillstep.
much much has been happening this week, bio revision, bio questions, essays, finished off orange booklet, started reading a new book about philosophy, gone through the physics questions.. aah too much done, though i still feel its not enough >.<

revising in my new boots

revising in my new boots; because somehow that makes me feel better. am i the only weirdo? sectionz 1 and trois - thats French for three.

the perfect time

happens between the end of the night and the beginning of dawn. i can't describe how surreal it feels to be up that early, all quiet, the day just beginning... it really gives you a fresh start to a day. did org chem questions from red acer booklet today, kinda need to revise my organics...

the devil in the essay themes

is it just me or some essay themes seem to be so terrible?! maybe its because i find the topics boring but meh, some of them really do really fry your brain.
accomplished today section 3 timed practice acer questions, wrote 2 essays, attended doc's seminar and made my very first kale salad! i think i'm slightly more happy about the kale salad than the rest of the stuff i've done today >.>; moving on to marking section 3 now fun times.

zOMG kale salad with pine nuts, peppers, tomatoes spring onions, baby spinach, lemonz and rocket leaves :D

paradigm shift

today i was actually disappointed to find a job interview offer in my mail box, DISAPPOINTED! last year i would have been dancing around my room.. what the hell is wrong with me?!

astaghfur allah al'atheem...

I should look at this more positively.
at least its not a healthcare assistant job per se.. agh they are all the same are they not? cleaning poop/wee from an unfortunate soul stuck in the hospital because they happen to be sick? *sighhh..*
moar biochemistry done today along with sec 1 material. i really need to improve my sec 1, its complete ridicule compared to august last year. marked some of it.. i think i may have been half asleep answering some of the questions. i can't make silly little mistakes like this in the actual exam. 

we think too much and feel too little

happy new years by the way.. can't truly say i celebrated, for i know i shouldn't till i pass gamsat. funny how things are placed on hold while you concentrate on whats really important in life at the very moment in time.
its like while you're there in the moment, you can see all  these things around you, and its really your choice whether to get washed away in the stream or see the events unfold, as you wait patiently for your moment. its no sign of fear, its a sign of a wise adult making the decision of when to take action.
so this week its been biochemistry frenzy. i love biochemistry.. well some of it because its like piecing proteins and molecules together to make something else, with so many possibilities.. ok, i try to like biochemistry! i have to :O
i need to work on my revision schedule.i find that i'm thinking about gamsat all day, and accomplishing little, or just enough to get through the timetable. i need to make time for other things.. and that includes doing shifts at the hospital. 

EID MUBARAK

happy eid al fitr :) time to celebrate with MECHANICS and vectors and displacements and magnitude problems! yay me.... insha'allah all our prays will be heard and hope all our hard work and efforts be repaid with 95th percentiles xD its nice to dream.. happy eid everyone :3

tear drops into the fire

being 24 just seems to make me even more outraged, i have to get into medicine. today i was complemented by one of the physio assistants, telling me that i would make a wonderful nurse, and me without even thinking snapped back at him "i don't want to be a nurse!"
pressure is getting to me, and i have to somehow maintain my cool. i can't be lost in my own little world of frustrations. its great that i'm working and all.. but what is it worth if i cannot pass gamsat? i have to pass this damn test! emo biology revision today.

bleh yeah

hardcore physical chemistry revision today :L

Blue flame

Completely shattered today - the olympic village was more full than usual and i took the first hour and a half of my shift to get through the pesky exponentials and log scales revised. i'm glad i had that out of the way because by the late afternoon the whole area was littered with athletes!
considering that i'm fasting, i had not slept last night properly and got up pretty early in the morning, after the study time i had, i was pretty much yearning for my pillow. it didn't get better as the day progressed, i got more and more silent and zombified from the dehydration and lack of energy. i better get some rest.. days like this i really wish i was fitter.. my time will come; patience, insha'allah.

Online session

today i had my first ever online session where i met two wonderful gamsat study buddies jess and fong. it was really lovely meeting others revising for this dreaded exam, and with the sample questions we went through theres so much more i've got to cover to stand a chance in this exam. smart guessing can only take me so far, i need to get practising! it was a huge motivational boost doing the sample questions together, i need to do more theres only 7 weeks left!!!

bitter sweet dream

the weeks feel like they are going so quickly, theres so much to do and so little time left.
biochemistry done, now its organic chemistry tym. so i'm thinking about posting up some essays on here - anyone up for marking my work? heheh

HCA work y/n?

Yuna eyes are so pretty

how much experience can hca work actually get you? job descriptions kind of just say you'll be working with nurses.. what about doctors? i need that experience with doctors :(
revision is going really slow :L i need to spend more time on biochemistry!

the strokes - reptilia

so i looked at my effort this week and it looks like i'm slacking. dammit brain don't start procrastinating already :(
biochemistry is really killing me.. i honestly thought it was going to be one of the easy topics bleh i couldn't be more wrong - thats 2 weeks spent on this lame subject. nothing feels like it has stuck in eek! hope i'll have some time to revisit the stuff in biochemistry.. its all enzyme names, a damn long cascade of chain reactions (with weird and confusing names!!!!) and CO2's flying around destroying/elongating molecules supposedly responsible for the energy release and storage and conversion and eghhh.. you get the point.

biochemistry for beginners

glycolysis and proteins basics done. didn't realise how complicated glycolysis really was till now.. i'm not looking forward to the citric acid cycle and oxidative phosphorylation o_o; i feel like that Muppet dude in the picture! i need to cover some section 1 material this week too.. i've got to get into grips with revision problem is, time is flying fast.. really fast. 10 weeks left till GAMSAT & i can't help but panic!