because this doesn't happen

feeling the tension... less than a week left, must cram things in x.x
i hate how acer decided to have the exam  in the furthest possible place out of anywhere in london. great for people coming through the airport, crap for the rest of us living in the 'south east' who have to make a journey of at least 1 hour and 40minutes just to get to an exam centre ¬¬ just because the olympics were there acer please don't think that everyone is able to make that journey to be on time at 8 in the morning when you've got to cross london's rush hour and school traffic. sincerely, everyone sitting the exam. as if we don't have enough to worry about.. *sigh*

thought of the day: why didn't i choose medicine back when i was at school?

a post to keep on track

I wish i could say i've been revising. i wish i could tell you about all the wonders i've learned over the past weeks. i wish i could say that life has been good to me.. in reality the past weeks have been chaos. mainly, its my fault, and i'll be the first to admit it. i chose to work full time, i chose to volunteer for both the olympics and paralympics... things need to come together, but like water, you can't grip hold of time. with so much on the line.. i need to feel prepared.. and however hard i try to get organised, my energy is wasted elsewhere. be it work, or volunteering, or daily chores.. i feel limited. i barely sleep, and i feel like crap every single day.
i haven't told a soul at work or any of my friends about my intentions to do medicine. i almost did, but the person i spoke to really showed her true colours and reinforced my original decision to keep it a secret. i don't want to be treated differently, just equally as other members of staff.
i attended a physics online seminar with the doc today, and spent the rest of the day going through essay technique, had a nap earlier, and here i am now. i want to complete reading about part a of essays today and squeeze in some practice. i really need it! heres to wishful thinking:

insha'allah

EID MUBARAK

happy eid al fitr :) time to celebrate with MECHANICS and vectors and displacements and magnitude problems! yay me.... insha'allah all our prays will be heard and hope all our hard work and efforts be repaid with 95th percentiles xD its nice to dream.. happy eid everyone :3

tear drops into the fire

being 24 just seems to make me even more outraged, i have to get into medicine. today i was complemented by one of the physio assistants, telling me that i would make a wonderful nurse, and me without even thinking snapped back at him "i don't want to be a nurse!"
pressure is getting to me, and i have to somehow maintain my cool. i can't be lost in my own little world of frustrations. its great that i'm working and all.. but what is it worth if i cannot pass gamsat? i have to pass this damn test! emo biology revision today.

tasks a&b are never fun

can one truly ever be free from responsibility? doubt it.. though today i found that the collective minds of determination has helped greatly. i've done my first essays for gamsat:
i hate their poor quality but at least i tried! and did them under timed conditions yay :D

have a read, please give me some feedback, i would really appreciate it