new artist alliance logo

wohoo i forgot to add this in last blog post :L the artist alliance has a heart! lol get it? i mean literally!

so i did this yesterday - i'm still not convinced.. too girly i know, i feel like i ran dry on ideas dammit i really need to start slapping my hand everytime i click photoshop. i need practise on illustrator! i encountered a problem on photoshop where i had all these nice drawn shapes and paths.... buttt when i tried to merge the paths i got negative or empty areas in the wrong places on my shapes! i tried making moar anchor points but that never helped so meh..i was really annoyed! also, paths were never ever straight lines. you think they're straight but wait till you zoom in x1500 you'll be sorry, you'll be crying at how dodgy and not straight your lines are :L anyways enough of my ramblings... admire the final product above ;D

where to begin?! q_q

so much on my mind aghh

blog post by one pearl button  really opened my eyes about ways to get organised. simply wow...

whats on my mind? well.....

game fest 2011

sickness

sainsburys
volunteering
going abroad

tutorials i need to read

logo design for aa

inspiration for da submission

no more zombies, get over it

sort room - walls, table, floors, storage

need to know where everything is!

sort kitchen - rip out old and stick in the new

get a working environment to learn new stuff - my room needs to be spotless :(

learn illustrator
learn adobe premier
learn after effects
learn sai

camera

lose weight - because like a cactus, i can't seem to lose what i already have

seo work

learn moar about advertising on the internets

read some darn science articles

publish some new content on review science

publish content on artist alliance

get organised, know what i need to do and when to do it

find time to pray

find time for parents

find time for relaxing

review current knowledge

find out about what to do with my degree

this darn cough

attic... is.. heavy... need to de-clutter

wash

aerobics

don't depress over others, get on, focus

paint walls

get paint for walls

feel like you're doing something... & have a target, at least 1

meh..

sleep

getting back a normal sleeping pattern

getting overwhelmed with the list

skipping to the sleep bit

zzzzz....

COUGHHHHHH

zzzzzzz.....

sad face

story of my life.

< insert something appropriate --->

today while i was working mum came over. the look on her face when she approached me as i was code checking.. it was a look of affection, a look of pity, a look of feeling sorry. at that moment i knew she had given up on me going to uni this year.
it almost brought tears to my eyes.. her tone of voice really struck knives down my back. she told me: dad has been speaking to some girls at work, and they advised him on how to land a job there. she asked, whether i'd be interested. of course i'd be interested.. but its kinda obvious, first come, first serve basis was always the case. regardless, i can't get her image, her face out of my head. it has consumed me today, and almost drained me. insha'allah things will work out. insha'allah this struggle will be over soon. insha'allah i'd make her proud someday..

overflow of chaos prevents advances

over the past few days i've been contemplating the idea of making a completely different blog to serve as a review of current science articles... and pretty much anything i find interested related to biochemical research. link: http://reviewscience.blogspot.com/

i have a number of ideas for it but.. honestly? another review blog? moan moar tym? my other.. completely different idea is to resume my graphics work. of course thats a shot in the leg if i decide that its not worth my time. all i know.. is that i want to do many things, and theres just not enough drive to push past the chaos around me at the moment.

the artist alliance sure needs a resurrection.. then again, i just want to concentrate on a single thing and see how it goes.. meh.. so many possibilities :/ a final message to self: 

i need to get myself one of those posters stuck on my plain plain wall.

dream catchers can't catch every bad dream. true story.

lets talk bad dreams. ever had a dream that felt so real you woke up paranoid? confused? wanting to pee really really badly? 3 instances spring to mind lol. one time i dreamt that uhh.... this rooster-human hybrid clan were like the protectors of the earth. for some reason i got caught up in their little turmoil and they had offered me to drink this thing - which looked like was made in a lab... and to join them.. basically.
me, protector of all simply jumped to the idea not considering whether there were other hybrids out there. more powerful/wise and so on. all i wanted to do was help this clan. when i woke up i just thought to myself wtf?! a chicken-hybrid?! stupid birds can't even fly! i remembered that those hybrids were like the chinese calendar animals and were all at conflict and there was me.. choosing a rooster over dragons.. aghh.. dania you should have asked for dragons! you can't help everyone! dammit!
another dream i had was that i was in a hospital or something - its really old, like a hospice or something and i was in training there. i didn't know my way and i was just following instructions by the supervisor i was aiding. so it was getting to the end of the day, and she told me to help her to lock up - of course the windows were open so my instinct told me to close the windows. i did 3 windows just fine, but omg.. the fourth window.. as i approached to close it, i was frozen, literally petrified! i couldn't move anything but my eye lids. i was slowly elevated and remained in mid air helpless. i didn't know whether to be scared, acknowledge that its a dream and turn into a super saiyan and break free or to scream. everything just seemed at a standstill and all i could see was an open field outside this window. gosh i hated myself for being so helpless.. surely closing windows won't spark the supernatural and make them angry? meh.. when i woke up my heart was racing! i couldn't go back to sleep - horrible dream was horrible!
another bad experience was in homebase (gardening and home superstore). there was this green-like goblin following me around. everytime i looked around it had its gaze focused on me and after a few turns, explosives were getting thrown everywhere and the building began to collapse. i ducked for cover behind some isles and decided it was best to head to the out doors since you can get fresh air there. as i crept outside there was this maze... similar to the maze in final fantasy x where you had to solve before meeting yunalesca o_o

but of course.. i couldn't just go through with it so at that point i climbed the fence and headed towards the car park. the store literally was in ruins now, and that green dude was hot on my tail. i get in the car and boom. yeah..sucks. that boom was so loud though i woke up from hearing it.

why on earth am i talking about this? i'm feeling a little grisly after killing one of those big jumpy spiders. u.u;