whats the deal with muslims celebrating eid on different days? the majority of people celebrated it on tuesday while some mosques decided that oooh no we can't see the moon, the mosque next door lies! ...meh. people begin to fast all on the same day, so why not agree to celebrate eid on the same day? weird world we live in...
it was back to work today for me, and it was so darn busy today.. i confronted... well.. talked to my manager today regarding a list of issues i had over the past week, which was great and all except it seemed like he wasn't really listening and i fear for the worst. as usual, only the crap seems to find its way for me, and nothing good ever seems to come out at all.
i'm finding it really difficult to be at peace when i'm alone. all my regrets, how my hopes and aspirations all seem so far away and i can never ever reach absolution because of so many obstacles in my way aghh. example? the muslim family who were renting our second property, who lived on the council and claimed all sorts of benefits and did not pay rent till the end of every single month (or till dad started tearing his hair) decided to leave the country, unexpectedly. after getting their british citizenship, and claiming all the money from the council, they left for dubai! they not only paid july's rent on the 10th of august, but also didn't pay the 21 days of rent that they lived in during ramadhan! the family were supposedly poor and so were living on the council! they left the house in such a state.. i really cannot wish them anything but curses. they lived in the property for 6 whole years and to be honest.. despite leaving unexpectedly.. i'm also kinda relieved that they're gone. a muslim would never do such a thing. mum said that the money that they took would count as zakat because it most certainly did not come out of their pockets, and the sole purpose of the benefits was to pay for the rent, which wasn't paid so yeah... what can you do? i say let god treat them as they've treated us for on judgement day there will be no mercy for the kafir.
this little mishap ruined all our plans to renovate our 15 year old kitchen. now we'll have to clean up that house, find new tenants and watch our spending because without the money coming from the rent, we cannot afford to go anywhere or even pay for my brother's living expenses at uni. that house being rented was really the only relief we had for the mortgages, bills, etc. and so without it rented, its extremely difficult to do anything. astaghfur allah alatheem.
another example is booking a gp appointment. i needed a health check up to apply for volunteer work - now not only did the clinic not have my details, but i've had to register as a new patient. this meant that my details were to be transferred from nottingham's clinic to here, which is estimated to take as much as 4 weeks! in 4 weeks the flippin position would be filled! i've done a new patient check up but thats just a bs test done by a nurse, which is meaningless to the employers because special tests are needed. aghh! i called them up a week later and they still don't have my records. i'm really not impressed. i've told the employment lady about my situation and she cannot guarantee my place. sucks to be me right now. i can't even secure a volunteer role wtf.
i keep telling myself, that i'm fortunate to have a home, to have a loving family, to have food on the table, to have a job, to have the ability to walk, talk, hear, play, write, and so on but when i'm alone, i can't help getting upset, i really can't.
